Hola! You know how you're in a store and you hear this great song and you can't figure out the name of it? I did! (At Sears, actually.) I found out it was Sweet and Low by Augustana. And maybe if I'm lucky I'll help you solve the same dilemma! Here's one that I heard on the radio yesterday: Second Chance-by Shinedown.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Di7baJWX-qQ
Click the link to listen to the song!
How to deal with losing a loved one. I know how you feel. At 1:00 last night, my grandfather died. At first, it seemed like I had no emotion. Nothing. I wasn't shocked--he'd been in the hospital for awhile--and I didn't cry! If you have or had that same feeling; it's OKAY! It's normal; you're most likely in a state of shock and just don't realize it. Throughout the whole day, I felt. . . odd. Like something was out of place. I suggest if you have any issues with the situation or bottled-up emotions that you'd like to let out, see a counselor. Middle, Junior, and High Schools usually have a guidance counselors you can talk to. There are also professional counselors to go too. However, a session can get really expensive. Try talking to a relative that you're close to. Then you can share you feelings about your loss. (Make sure that that relative is ready to talk; they may be to upset to talk about the something like that so soon. . . )
How to tell your kids? I would sit them down at a table or couch and tell it to them gently. You could start out with: "Name(s) of son(s)/daughter(s), your ____ has moved on to a better place (or passed on). . . ". Try to not used the words "died" or "dead" with younger children. It's a bit harsh. Use "moved on" or "passed on" when telling them the news. For older children, like preteens and teenagers, you don't have to be as gentle. If they are aware of the situation--maybe that loved one was in the hospital or nursing home or fatally ill--, it's okay not to be as gentle. But if it's a sudden, out-of-the-blue situation, tell them the news with , well, gentleness (there really isn't any other word to describe it). Remember: teenagers get really moody and crabby when they are stressed and/or misunderstood. Do not treat them like a 6 year-old who doesn't understand death or doesn't get what's going on. Most teenagers do get it, and sometimes it aggravates them when you treat them like they don't. Others sometimes want to be comforted during this time of sadness. If their eyes glaze over (about to cry), turn away and/or put hands on their face, or they look nervous means that they want you to say something comforting. Ask them if they want to talk about it, if they say no then move on to a different subject. (I suggest a funny subject; it'll ease they discomfort and awkwardness..)
Good Luck! You can get through this! Comment or ask questions! If there's a topic you want to hear or ask about go ahead. I'm all ears!
Adios!
~Ally-Cat
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