He's Just A Dreamer

Goal of today: Make a better post than yesterday.

I don't know why, but when I read over my previous post it bothered me real badly. I think I'm losing my touch.  And that scares me.  I want to be a better blogger.  So from now on I will do my hardest to make nicely formed posts. d(^.^)
-----------
Oh boy.  You guys are going to love this.  I'm having guy troubles again.  Not the same guy from before--we are actually friends now--,but someone different.  Let me start from the beginning:

So about a month ago, I went to the amusement park with a bunch of my friends at last minute.  My friend Tom* invited one of his friends that most of us had never met before.  We'll call this friend Sid.  While waiting in one of the long lines,  Sid and I started talking.  During our conversations, we realized that we had a lot in common.  So the whole time we would flirt and talk and it was going great.  I kept thinking: Wow, this guy is really cool.  I've gotten really lucky.  My friends agreed.  And we went on having a great time.  But towards the end,  I had this odd feeling.  Like I sort of indirectly knew Sid.  I kept trying to figure out how.  And when the night was over, while heading home, I realized how I knew him.  He had dated a good friend of mine, Wendy*.  All the sudden I felt terrible.  I felt like I had betrayed her by flirting with Sid.  After that I couldn't get it out of my mind. The guilt was piling up with every thought of Sid. 

The next day, I'm sitting on my bed doing some work when I get a text from Tom.  Tom and I texted each other for a while until he finally asks if I like Sid.  I say sorta and explain to him that I don't want to take it further due to his connection with Wendy (Girl Code).  He said he understood.  A few seconds later, I get a text from Sid.  I tell him in a lengthy text about the situation and that I want to stay loyal to Wendy, but would love to just be friends.  I was relieved to find that he understood and agreed.  (Later, I texted Wendy and told her everything.  She said it was fine.)

Weeks went by, and I was getting unsure. We had been texting each other everyday--more like he was texting me--, and I was getting uneasy. He was very obvious that he liked me.  That didn't bother me too much, 'cause of course I liked him too.  What was so uncomfortable was that he was asking me all these dating questions.  For example, we decided to play 20 questions.  I kept asking get-to-you questions, like "How many brothers and sisters do you have?" or "Any pets?" He would ask me stuff like: "What kind of guy are you looking for?" and "Hug, kiss, or hold hands?" I finally had to tell him to knock it off and backed down and we went on to more comfortable subjects. 

At this point I was starting to get a change in heart.  No longer was he that sweet funny guy; he was getting to be an creep.  I was getting reluctant to text him back more and more.  He'd ask me every week if I'd like to go somewhere with him and our friends.  I was grateful--and still am--that I was literally socially packed.

I wanted to tell Tom, but I felt like I'd make him upset that I don't like his friend--they were friends longer than we were.  So I decided to keep it to myself.

Two weeks later, on a Saturday, I was reading a book when I get a text message... Sid.  Great.  We talk for a little.  Then, it happened.  He asks me to go to a dance with him.  I'm really pissed. I feel like he had completely disregarded what I told him that I just wanted to keep it at friend level and he just asked me on a date. Fuming, I text back: "U kno y i cant."  Moments later: "We'd jst go as friends. :)" I pause.  Could that work.  The first word that pops in my head says "no".  And I know it's true.  It may be a frate, but to me it'll feel like at date.  I call up Wendy and I tell her what's happened. She remains calm--unlike me--and says if I want to go, then go.  I tell her that I'm unsure and explain what has happened over the past two weeks.  This is when she sounds a bit concerned.  "From what it sounds like, it seems that he wants to be more that friends." Duh! I ask, "What should I do?" Wendy: "Well if you go just know, he's going to try to get you to be his girlfriend." Knew it. "Okaay..." Wendy: "What are you going to do?" Me: "I-i don't think I can do it."

I texted Sid back and said, "You kno I can't. Im sry." Sid: "Evn as friends? It's not a date." Me: "It'd still feel like one. I'm sry."  Sid: "uh thats okay. ttyl. bye." And that was the last I heard from him. Err, that's what I thought.

He texted me recently, asking for forgiveness.  And, foolish me, forgave him--but warned him that I'm still POed and that he's walking on thin ice.  Now he texts me every once a while, but here's the problem: I still can't .. trust him? Moreover, I don't want to ever talk to him, see him, ever.  Well, that's how I feel anyway.  So what should I do? Should I keep texting him? Or ignore him?

[Btw, Tom knows everything.  I told him.  He said that he'd talk to Sid--this was before Sid apologized. I have a sneaking suspicion that maybe that's why he apologized.  Hmm.]
 
*not real name
-----------------

Exclusive picture!

Still needs to be penned and labeled.  :) Will be on DA soon.

~Ally-Cat

PS

If you have more to say about the matter, please email me: ally_cat09@ymail.com